30 WAYS AND COUNTING ON HOW TO MAKE MARCO MIAB!
by Pokepika's Haunt
Summary: 30 ways and counting on how to make Marco the Phoenix mad/irritated/annoyed/or/and blush! Have fun! Rated T to be safe.
1. How to make Marco MIAB!

A/N. First one-shot ever. This is Marco-centric, and really brought about from a review from Vampire Revan, so I personally thank that person! Enjoy!

Summary: 30 ways, and counting on how to make Marco mad/irritated/annoyed/blush. Yeah...Fun!

**Disclaimer: Do not own One Piece, make a great christmas present if I suddenly did, but I don't.**

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><p><strong>30 WAYS AND COUNTING ON HOW TO MAKE MARCO MADIRRITATED/ANNOYED/BLUSH!**

1) Tell Marco he looks pretty with the most serious face possible.

2) Call him Mommy/Mama/Mother/etc. in front of his whole crew. Get Ace to do it insistently for added affect.

3) Ask him where babies come from, look completely innocent the whole time.

4) After he explains it to you, ask him if he and Whitebeard are ever having babies!

5) Ignore his protesting and go running about the Moby Dick telling everybody that Marco and Whitebeard are having kids!

6) When someone says Marco, yell out Polo. (Yes I know it's not original)

7) Take all of Marco's clothes, have Ace burn them, and then replace it all with pink frilly dresses!

8) Do the same with his shoes, replace them with high heels.

9) Ask Marco where his nest is.

10) Ask him if he lays eggs.

11) Beg him insistently to let you ride on his back in his phoenix form.

12) Scream like Cheese when he goes really fast or too high in the air.

13) When he is in the middle of sparring with one of the other crewmates, nonchalantly walk in between them suddenly and take your sweet time doing it. (Optional: Drag Ace with you.)

14) Tell Marco Ace loves him.

15) Tell Ace Marco loves him.

16) Sick a pack of rabid fangirls on him.

17) When he asks for help, hide him in a place he can't escape from, and then tell the rabid fangirls where he is.

18) Grab a bag of popcorn and watch the chaos and hilarity insue.

19) Call him a chicken.

20) Call him a turkey!

21) Call him a chicken-turkey thingy.

22) Call him a flaming chicken-turkey thingy.

23) Call him a depraved, flaming chicken-turkey thingy.

24) When he transforms, pretend to freak out, grab a bucket of water, and throw it on him. All the while screaming that Marco is on fire, and then afterwords act completely relieved.

25) When he asks you why you did it, look at him like you have no idea what he's talking about, and then sat straight out: "You're pretty!" Walk away.

26) When Marco comes to talk to you scream your head off. Get Ace and Thatch involved for added affect.

27) When Marco tells you to stop, say you're singing the Bink's Sake. Continue screaming loudly.

28) When Marco is in the crow's nest, yell out to Whitebeard that Marco is nesting again.

29) When he tries to catch you scream loudly, then fall silent and walk away.

30) Repeat the whole list over again in one day. Have fun!

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><p>AN. Ok! Hope you guys liked it, and please feel free to add to the list. I will most likely be adding onto it when the inspiration hits. Enjoy and review please! Bye!

Marco: You are a cruel little girl.

Me: I am not little! Call me that again and I'll add something really embarassing to the next chapter!

Marco: *Grumbles indignantly, but gives.*


	2. MORE How To's!

A/N. Ok! Thanks for the reviews guys, and I love some of the ideas you guys offered! Thanks so much! Time for review replies!

To TheBlackSeaReaper: Thanks! and Glad you love it. Here's some more for you to love, and thanks for the suggestion!

To IndigoButterfly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Oh My GOD! That was genious! Bravo! And you will have more to play act when I'm through with this chapter.

To Naomi-nami16: Yeah, sorry about that. It was intended to be a one-shot but then I started going on a roll with it and I decided it was too good to end as a simple One-Shot. So here is more! Sorry about the confusion again, just ignore that and enjoy the fanfic. Thanks for the review.

To Aoi-Usa: Haha! Funny! And thanks, glad you like it all so much. I just know somebody's going to murder me for that last chapter from One Piece Queen of the Seas though. Anyway, yes Marco is a great, lovable Pineapple head! (Marco: Not you too!) Anyway, thanks for the review and enjoy!

Summary: More how to Make Marco MIAB, YAY! Please enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece!**

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><p><strong>HOW TO MAKE MARCO MIAB PT. 2!<strong>

31) Run around telling everybody that Marco is part pineapple.

32) Call Marco a pretty swan lady! (For added affect look completely happy, innocent, and serious while saying it.)

33) Find a pineapple, fake eyelashes, 1 blue marker, 1 black marker, and Izou's lipstick. Draw a face on the Pineapple and use Izou's lipstick to make it look pretty. Show it to Marco and tell him you found a nice girl that will go out with him. Look completely serious while saying all this.

34) When Marco is asleep, take Izou's lipstick, some masquera, blush, and eyeliner, and make Marco look pretty!

35) Take a picture after performing #34. Get it printed and show it off to everybody you know, including the Marines.

36) Call Marco an Old Man.

37) Call Marco Grandma.

38) When Marco is just about to fall asleep, barge into his room uninvited and talking about going to bed, when you see Marco scream your head off and call him a Pervert.

39) Kick him out of his own room afterwards. Then come out at around five o'clock in the morning and talking about how you could've sworn that was your bedroom when you walked in last night.

40) Pants Marco in the middle of a battle.

41) Tell Akainu Marco wants to kiss him.

42) Tell Kizaru Marco wants to kiss him.

43) Tell Aokiji Marco wants to kiss him.

44) Tell Marco any of the three aforementioned Admirals want to kiss him.

45) Randomly call him a cheater, and then go on a tangent about how he shouldn't go about playing other people's hearts like that. (referring to #41-43)

46) Convince him to sing Independent Woman Pt. 1 by Beyonce in front of the whole crew.

47) Take pictures, a LOT of pictures, and video tape it too.

48) Pass it around to everybody you know, and don't know.

49) Whenever he walks into the same room as you, sing loudly and off key: Dontcha' by The Pussycat Dolls.

50) When he tells you to stop it, sing louder, and even more off key.

51) When serving eggs, and Marco reaches to get some, scream out that Marco is a cannibal.

52) When he bangs his head against the wall, randomly grab a pillow and place it where his head hits the surface of whatever is nearby.

53) Follow Marco around insistently.

54) Keep calling his name the whole entire time.

55) When he turns around to say what, kiss him, tell him you love him, and then walk away.

56) Do all this over again for a whole week without stopping. Have fun! And Fangirls, don't take it too far, okay?

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><p>AN. So what do you guys think? Please review and see ya!


	3. More & More How To's!

A/N. Yeah, so here's more funny stuffy. Review Replies first!

To Shiary: Thanks and glad you like it so much. Here it is and enjoy!

To IndigoButterfly: Again, you really outdid yourself this time! Poor Marco, I'm about to add fuel to the fire. Thanks for the suggestions by the way. Anyways, enjoy!

To Naomi-nami16: Great ideas, and thanks for the suggestions. Anyways, thanks for reviewing and enjoy!

To TheBlackSeaReaper: YES! Marco is going to hate me by the time I finish this fanfic. Oh well, thanks for the review and enjoy!

To Aoi Usa: Valon, Ace, Marco, you better not have hurt her feelings, or you're all dead! *Glares menacingly at them* Aoi Usa-san it's okay! Look see Valon won't mind, will you Valon? (Valon: Shakes his head 'no') See? Thank you for the review and you three better get her to stop crying now! And glad you like my work.

To Rell: Thanks and enjoy!

To .Fox: Thanks and glad you liked it so much. Don't worry I'm taking care of myself. So please continue to read and enjoy! Thanks again!

To Jazzcat1231: Glad you liked it so much and thanks. Now please enjoy!

Summary MORE & MORE & MORE FUNNY WAYS TO MAKE MARCO MIAB! Have fun!

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned One Piece, I really do, but I don't. It belongs to Oda Sensei!**

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><p><strong>MORE WAYS TO MAKE MARCO M.I.A.B.! YAY!<strong>

57) Bye a bottle of hair tonic and give it to Marco.

58) Buy a cat and give it to Marco.

59) When Marco transforms, attempt to pluck some of his feathers.

60) Poke him insistently.

61) Sing Nom Nom Nom, Do you like waffles, or This is the Song that Never Ends, loudly and off key. Follow Marco insistently while doing so.

62) When following Marco, sing in a rather suspicious voice, the"Mission Impossible" song so he takes notice.

63) When asked what you're doing by him, declare you are the Ultimate Queen Super Fighting Ninja Pirate Princess Dragon Soul Reaper King and then strike a Ninja pose.

64) Promptly kick him and take off running, declaring that the Famous Ultimate Queen Super Fighting Ninja Pirate Princess Dragon Soul Reaper King shall never be caught.

65) Whenhe asks you if your crazy, go into immediate gibberish then scream and say the voices are speaking to you. Promptly run away or assume the fetal position.

66) When Marco isn't looking, pick one of his feathers and declare for all to hear that Marco is molting.

67) When near Marco, throw something shiny at his head. Watch as he stares at it insistently.

68) When sleepy, go find Marco and use him as a pillow.

69) When you wake up, hug him and call him mommy.

70) When he tells you he is not your mommy, call him aunty.

71) When he tells you he is not your aunty, call him nee-chan or big sister.

72) When he tells you he is not your big sister, call him granny, grangran, whatever you call your grandmother if you have one.

73) When he tells/yells that he is not your grandmother, cry like a baby.

74) When he finally gets fed up, takle him to the ground and refuse to get up until he makes you pancakes.

75) when he makes you pancakes, complain that they are not the type you want. Keep this up until you get back to the first type of pancake he served you, then say thank you and eat.

76) Watch with amusement as he is about to yell out you.

77) When he is just about to yell at you, kiss him, and then leave without another word.

78) Tell Marco Teach thinks he's pretty.

79) Tell Sengoku Marco thinks he's pretty.

80) Tell Marco Sengoku thinks he's pretty.

81) Convince him to play strip poker, and cheat your butt off.

82) Make a bet with him that if he loses, he has to dress in a frilly pink tutu, and sing infront of the whole Whitebeard crew.

83) Also make him say he's a pretty princess. Cheat to make sure this happens, and make it a bet you know you can win.

84) When Marco is about to drink his sake or whatever, still it from him and chug it all down.

85) Throw the bottle at his head and take off in the other direction.

86) When Marco is not looking, replace his shampoor or/and conditioner with bleach.

87) Tell him he looks pretty as a platinum blonde.

88) When he asks for the cure, give him a bottle of pink hair dye.

89) Tell him he looks he pretty this way too.

90) Every time you see Marco, tackle hug him.

91) when he asks you why, give him a cute pout and asks if he hates you.

92) when he tries to explain himself, randomly kiss him, then walk away.

94) Booby trap his bedroom.

95) Put all of his small items in jell-o

96) Replace all his bedsheets with non-flammable girly looking sheets.

97) Take all his clothes, and have Ace burn them again.

98) Sew him new clothes that look like giant baby clothes.

99) MAke him wear a bib while dressed in the baby clothes, and treat him like your infant child.

100) Act like a mother hen in battle and drag him off of the battle field at random moments talking aobut how babies should not be fighting bigger older hairy men.

101) When he tries to object, shove a pacifier in his mouth and continue dragging him about. Feel free to carry him like a baby if you can.

102) Do so insistently until he gets new clothes, and in front of the whole crew.

103) Do them all in one day. Repeat for as long as you want to. Try not to get carried away.

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><p>AN. Well, here's the newest chapter! And please feel free to make suggestions, I think I'm running out of ideas. Anyways, hope you enjoyed that and please review.

Marco: Is you're goal in life to embarass and piss me off as much as possible?

Me: Currently yes.

Marco: I hate you.

Me: Love you two you giant overgrown turkey. Now give me a hug and say bye to the nice people who read this.

Marco: ...*Gives Pokepika hug*...See ya...


	4. More&More&More&More How To's!

A/N. Okay, sorry for not updating in a while. So here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

To naomi-nami16: Sorry about that, Luffy let's me do that all the time, so I didn't think she'd hurt anybody. Hope you're okay, but hey, at least you landed on Akainu. And thanks for the rice rumor. That gave me an idea. Anyways, thanks for the review and enjoy.

To Shiary: Yes, yes you can. Thanks and glad you liked it. Enjoy!

To TheBlackSeaReaper: Thanks! Anyways, enjoy!

To Rell: Yes, he would snap. He's about to snap more though. Glad you like it and enjoy!

To Aoi Usa: Thanks and GENIUS! I will so use it. *laughs maniachally while Ace and Marco stare at her warily.* Those two are so in for it. Thanks again, and enjoy!

To IndigoButterfly: Gahahahaha! Okay...That was rich. You better change that to four days, because things are about to get a whole lot worse for him. That's okay about leaving some stuff out, as you don't use everything from the list. Still it's all very funny. Can't wait for the next one.

To le. Jester. Vixen.: Thanks and hope you enjoy this one as well. As for the turkey bone thing...I have no idea, but it must taste good. Thanks again!

To Jazzcat1231: Thanks, and I love them too, that's why I'm wrighting this. Anyways, enjoy!

Summary: You guessed it, MORE torture for Marco-kun! Enjoy! Warning: 119 is kinda cruel.

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece! If I did, Marco would be apart of Luffy's crew, Sabo would still be alive, and Luffy would be a girl with a different devil fruit ability.**

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><p><strong>MORE &amp; MORE &amp; MORE &amp; MORE How to Make Marco MIAB!<strong>

104) Tell Ace that if a bird eats rice, they blow up because the rice expands. Watch as Ace performs the heimlich manuever on Marco after he's eaten some rice in order to "save" Marco from blowing up.

105) When Marco falls asleep, use seastone cuffs and cuff him to the bed.

106) Undress him then go and find Izou. Tell him that Marco has a surprise for him in his bedroom.

107) Call Ace and Marco, when they are near enough, trip one of them so that they accidently kiss.

108) Replace Marco's bed with a nest when he's not around. Act like nothing happened.

109) When Marco sits down for breakfast, serve him birdfood.

110) Give him bird cookies.

111) Hit him with a tennis racket.

112) Hit him with a bird (the ones in batminton)

113) Steal all of Marco's clothes, except his underwear. Make sure nobody gives him any spare clothes.

114) Take pictures.

115) When Marco, Thatch and Ace are all asleep, drag them into Whitebeard's bed. Be very careful.

116) Tell Luffy that Marco is cheating on her. If she doesn't know the definition, explain it so that it makes her angry.

117) Watch as she tries to murder Marco.

118) Tell Ace and Marco that Luffy was kidnapped by Akainu, and that he is going to force her into marrying him.

119) When Marco is asleep, move him into an place that looks like an action house. Tell him he's about to be sold for a lot of money.

120) Make Marco walk around the ship stark naked.

121) Bring Marco a chicken.

122) Tell him you found a nice lady that will go out with him.

123) For even more added effect, make it a rooster (male chicken.)

124) Grab Marco and drag him away. tell him that a girl should not walk around without a bra and a shirt on.

125) Force him to wear a bra and a dress.

126) (Refers to #107) Yell out loudly that Marco and Ace are dating! They just kissed!

127) Watch as the chaos insues.

128) When Marco isn't looking, paint his face so it looks like a pineapple. Dye his hair green.

129) Say to the closest person to you "See, I told you he was part pineapple. You didn't believe me."

130) When Marco asks who did it. Blame it on Ace and/or Thatch.

131) Start a luau, when somebody complains about not having pineapples, point to Marco.

132) Tell Marco you found his aunt. Pull out a pineapple.

133) *I got this one from DeviantArt* Draw a picture of a pineapple wearing Marco's clothes and make the leafy things blonde.

134) Show it to Marco and tell him that you drew a picture of him. (look completely innocent doing it)

135) Do all of the above in one day. See how mad you can get him.

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><p>AN. Hope you guys liked it! Please review and tell me what you think! See ya!


	5. MORE MORE MORE MORE Ways to make Marco l

A/N. Ok! Here it is! MORE Ways Make to Marco lose his mind!

Enjoy! But first, Review Replies!

To Naomi-nami16: Thanks And I'm glad you liked it so much! I warn you now though, that things are about to get very painful for Marco. Let's just say I probably should stop watching America's Funniest Home Videos...There is no way in this world, all those accidents are good for your health. As for Akainu, let's just hope the stupid puppy stays that way. Anyways, thanks again and enjoy!

To TheBlackSeaReaper: Thank you, thank you very much! Enjoy!

To Rell: Yeah, bonus, Akainu winds up dead. Thanks for the review and enjoy!

To IndigoButterfly: Just as great as the others! And FUNNY! Poor Marco will have no sanity left by the time those three are done with him. I wonder why nobody's asking where they get these ideas from. Anyways, ENCORE ENCORE! MORE MORE! Thanks for the reviews and enjoy the new inspiration and material!

To Aoi Usa: Cause' that's just cruel. besides, I'm pretty sure that would just result in Zoro and Sanji swimming. Thanks for the review though and enjoy!

To Shiary: Glad you think it's awesome! Enjoy!

You guessed it, time for summary, and disclaimer!

Summary: That's right, MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE & MORE ways to make Marco lose his marbles! Enjoy!

**I do not own One Piece, if I did, this list would be happening every single day.**

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><p><strong>MORE MORE MORE MORE Ways to make Marco lose his mind, if he hasn't already...<strong>

136) When you see Marco flirting with a lady, ask him why he's cheating on Ace.

137) Cover one of the doors in plastic wrap, call Marco in, watch as walks through it.

138) Hide in a clean garbage can, and when Marco opens it, jump out screaming.

139) Randomly scream bloody murder in the middle of the night, wait till Marco comes, jump out from behind the door.

140) This is for all you Christmas lovers. Sing the 12 days of Christmas, over and over and over again.

141) Give Marco fruit cake, filled with bird seeds.

142) Place a skate board at Marco's door just before he gets up in the morning. Watch as he takes an unexpected ride through the halls of the Moby Dick.

143) For even more fun, make sure the path he's headed for is near a very short flight of stairs that won't kill him.

145) Convince Luffy and the others to play with a pinata. Make sure Luffy has the first turn, and that Marco is within swinging distance of Luffy. Blindfold Luffy, I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

146) Watch as Luffy chases him around the deck swinging wildly. Make sure to stay out of the way.

147) Buy a puppy, wait till Marco's asleep, then let it kiss him, right on the lips.

148) Remember the pinata, let Thatch do it next.

149) Wait till Marco walks around the corner. Hit him in the face with a pie. Make sure it's Marco before you throw it.

150) While he's glaring at you, make a smiley face with the creamy stuff on his face.

151) Tell him looks tasty.

152) At a random moment when Luffy is complaining about hunger, tell Luffy Marco has food.

153) Tell Luffy Marco is food, if she doesn't believe, walk up and bite him, walk back and tell her he tastes like chicken.

154) When Marco says he's about to win, tell him not to count his chickens before they hatch.

155) when Marco's not paying attention, force him into a chicken costume. Make sure he can't get out of it without your help.

156) Tell him that if he wants to get out of it, he's got to do the chicken dance, in front of the whole crew, and Whitebeard.

157) Take pictures and videotape it.

158) At a randome moment, start a food fight, make sure you hit Marco all the time.

159) At an even more random moment, scream Dog Pile on Marco, and then tackle him. Make sure you're not at the bottom.

160) Make Marco play tea party with Luffy, make sure he's in the most girliest dress you can find, and make-up, and high heels!

162) Take pictures, lots of them, feel free to use as blackmail.

163) Do all of this over again, skip the ones you think could give serious injury or possibly kill him, otherwise enjoy!

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><p>AN. Sorry about shortness, but I ran out of ideas. Think you guys could help? Review please! thanks for reading also! And I'll try and get One Piece: Queen of the Seas episode 20 out tommorow.

See ya!

Marco: You are one sick, cruel, little girl.

Me: Oh don't worry, sooner or later I'm making another one of these for Whitebeard and Ace.


	6. ALERT! PLEASE READ!

**ALERT! THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ THIS!**

**Ok! It turns out that 30 Ways and counting on how to make Marco MIAB is against the rules of . As such, I will no longer be continueing with this fanfiction. I am terribly sorry about this, but there is nothing I can really do unless somebody changes the rules. So please forgive me but this fanfiction has been officially cancelled. Again, I am terribly sorry. I don't like it anymore then you do.**


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